Having to pay your father $10,000 to be your father will do that.

Continue reading Splash TV: Does Britney Spears Have The Post-Holiday Blues?

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Continue reading Can Audrina Write Them Off As "Work Expenses?"

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A fear of gaining weight is preventing Gwyneth Paltrow from having more kids.

Shallow b*tch.

Continue reading Splash TV: No More Kids For Gwyneth Paltrow (Thank God)

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Michelle Trachtenberg, who currently stars in the show "Gossip Girls" and more famously known as the chick from "EuroTrip" that didn't get naked, might be a b*tch in real life according to Page Six.

A friend of the starlet told Page Six that when she talks about the show, "Michelle deliberately leaves out any girl cast members," like Blake Lively or Leighton Meester. Adds the source, "If you ask her about them, she just goes silent and changes the topic." Asked for comment, Tractenberg's publicist, Jessica Kolstad, said, "I don't know how you live with yourself."

I don't know about them but I live with myself by judging Hawaiian Tropic's bikini contests in my spare time and having sex with the contestants on top of piles of money in my Malibu estate.*

*Bikini contests = those nudie playing cards
sex with contestants = right hand
piles of money = discarded mattress in alley behind a crack house.

Check out 25+ more pictures of that bitch Michelle Trachtenberg in the gallery!

Continue reading Breaking News: Hot Chicks Might Be B*tches

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"Why do people keep looking at my breasts?"

Scarlett Johansson has joked that when she goes out in public she dresses up as a Chinese grocer, with a full silicone suit, fake nose and moustache, so people won't recognise her. In an interview with "Nylon" magazine, the actress also stated she would like to avoid big Hollywood films if it affects her artistic credentials (anyone see "The Island"?).

What Scarlett is forgetting, whether she jokes about dressing up as Chinese man or not, is that it will be impossible for her to ever hide her two large, mesmerising, divine assets that people stare at all the time. Men just go crazy for her pretty eyes...

Fortunately for us all, "artistic credentials" can be "Lost In Translation" as willing to do gratuitous nudity.

Continue reading Scarlett Goes Out For Chinese

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