Seeing that the countdown to Christmas is firmly upon us, we here at Splash thought we'd give you the lowdown on those presents you just can't find at net-a-porter. Last week was all about cuddly STIs and today we bring you something that has a religious twist. The Ship of Fools website have compiled a selection of "truly covetable gifts" for those who want to give kitsch gifts. For $30 you can get "Christ on a Bike", a figurine of Jesus astride a Harley Davidson, with his robes flowing behind him. According to the company website: "Riding into town on a donkey was all very well in the days of sandals and wearing tea towels on your head. But today the Messiah who wants to make an impression needs something a bit more." Also among the gifts is the Hip Flask Bible, which lets worshippers to refresh themselves while pretending to study the psalms and more shockingly Thongs of Praise. Apparently these are 'combine devotion to the Mother of God with the prevention of visible panty lines, and bring some welcome holiness to any underwear-related activity". The items were handpicked by Stephen Goddard, a former Church of England press officer (the irony), and Simon Jenkins, the website's editor, to poke fun at religious kitsch. I can only imagine that the late Pope John Paul II is turning in his grave. Pictures: Ship Of Fools