Your eyes are not paying tricks on you, that is Kelly Osbourne in that picture. Supposedly Kelly has shed a ton of weight to get ready for her role as Mama Morton when Chicago hits the stage at Cambridge Theatre on September 10 in London's historic West End.

"It's been a dream of mine to be in the West End. I can't wait to work with such an amazing cast."

This has to be the most egregious use of Photoshop since Andy Roddick's arms. What do you guys and gals think?

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As if things weren't bad enough for Lindsay Lohan, her latest movie, "I Know Who Killed Me," has bombed at the box office, only making $3.4 million on it's opening weekend and has been ripped to shreds by industry critics. The Hollywood Reporter ran a review under the headline "Bottom Line: Enduring this ponderous, convoluted thriller is pure torture." Ouch! Reviewer Michael Rechtshaffen then called it

"a ridiculous thriller (minus the thrills)" with "a nonsensical plot that grows sillier by the second, tawdry special effects, heavy-handed symbolism that's big on electric-blue hues and mechanical performances," adding "This TriStar Pictures release doesn't even warrant one star."

With Lohan's drug, alcohol, and legal problems reeking havoc on her career, at least Lindsay has been consistent at the box office; consistently bad! Zing! If you need more laughs as the day goes on, head over to Rotten Tomatoes for more scathing reviews.

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Justin Timberlake's down home Memphis styled restaurant 'Southern Hospitality' has opened in New York City and if you don't live in NYC or don't plan on making a summertime trip to the Big Apple, here's a look at the inside of the newest celeb eatery. Now calling anything "Memphis style" is setting yourself up for failure (Memphis is ground zero for BBQ and the locals are fierce when it comes to ribs) but I'm dying to know if JT's new restaurant succeeds in bringing a little south to the mouths of New Yorkers. If you've been, fill me in on all thats fit (or unfit) to eat.

Pictures by Elizabeth Lippman

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Over the past few days some of you may have noticed that I have been MIA as I've been suffering from the wost case of food poisoning ever endured by mankind, it makes my spring break stint in a Rocky Point, Mexico jail, where I suffered beatings from fellow inmates as well as the guards, forced to eat moldy bologna and wash it down with saltwater, look like a weekend trip to the Catskills.* Thanks to all of you that sent me get well notes, the rest of you, I hope you get an UFIA. Just kidding, I still love you. But while my g/f did her best to nurse me back to health and seeing that Britney Spears is still in worse shape than me helped, looking at Petra Nemcova really put over the top here. No wonder all those Tsunami survivors always look so happy. *I really haven't been in a Mexican jail. Maybe. Lots more Petra after the jump!

Continue reading Petra Nemcova Makes Me Feel Good

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Paris Hilton's grandfather has had enough of Paris and her antics dirtying the Hilton name. Already embarrassed by Paris' sex tape, her billionaire grandfather, Barron Hilton, has nixed her $60 million inheritance because of her drunk driving arrest and jail sentence.

"He was, and is, extremely embarrassed by how the Hilton name has been sullied by Paris," says Jerry Oppenheimer, who wrote a biography of the clan called House Of Hilton. "He now doesn't want to leave unearned wealth to his family."

Bravo Mr. Hilton, bravo. I understand you plan on donating several billion dollars to charity, which is one of the most honorable things a person of your stature can do (besides ripping Paris' inheritance), but if you were looking for a person to direct Paris' former fortune to, may I nominate myself? I'm hardworking, relatively scandal free, responsible (I pay my electric bill on time), kind to animals, always brush my teeth, charming (old ladies love me) and STD free (w/ proof). It's not like you can keep it in the family. Rick and Kathy will just blow it on frivolous home furnishings, mom jeans, and dole it out to Paris every time she turns on the water works and granddaughter Nicky will just use the money to start another ill-fated celebrity fashion line and spend the leftover at Kitson's. So please Mr. Hilton, think of me when you open that check book, I will make you proud, unlike your family. This is the first thing a member of the Hilton family has done that I agree with. Update: Well it sounded like it was too good to be true and it turns out it is. Paris Hilton has nut been cut out of her grandfathers will and will still be inheriting a gigantic amount of money ($30 million instead $60 million). Thanks to all of you who politely pointed out that the story was false but I am still holding out that Barron Hilton will wake up one day and think a wonderful man like myself is way more deserving than his convict porn star granddaughter.

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Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have finally settled their divorce according to TMZ with the couple sharing custody of the children (50/50) and K-Fed raking in $15,000 a month in child support. I think K-Fed tipped his hand on this one. Britney has not had a single piece of good press in what feels like years and from the way things look from her disastrous OK! Weekly interview, Las Vegas brawl, and disgraceful video shoot, K-Fed should have been able to take her to the cleaners (unless Brit-Brit has some serious dirt on Kevin). For the sake of his wallet and those two kids, Kevin really should have held out for full-custody. He would have been set for life and the kids would only have to clean up their own vomit and not mommies too.

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