The National Enquirer has a great story (July 11th, Mike Walker's Column, Page 12) that Mel Gibson showed up drunk to one of his recent AA meetings

Eyebrows shot up when Mel Gibson walked into an AA meeting near his Malibu home, stumbled over a row of seats and crash-landed atop them. “He was falling, tripping and clearly off balance,” said a source. “It was an embarrassing moment.” Later that evening, Mel stumbled into a petite woman, knocking her off balance. “And he didn’t even apologize!” said the source. “He looked so out of it.”

I hope this true. His notorious ranting during his DUI arrest where he blamed the Jews for all the wars, called a female police officer "sugar t*ts" and claimed that he owned "Malibu" still makes me laugh to this day. I really hope we get Mad Mel: Beyond The Malibu-Dome Part 2.

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This morning the New York Post reported that Paris Hilton received a little special treatment when she wasn't subjected to an embarrassing body cavity search, something every inmate must endure to prevent drugs, weapons, and other contraband from being smuggled into prison. But now TMZ is reporting that Paris and her cavities were indeed subjected to a little glove love upon being admitted. I'm not entirely sure which is true, the prison may be trying to cover their tracks so you decide on what to believe. But I don't know how this is news, 80% of Hollywood has previously searched them before.

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Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's Malibu mansion has been sitting unsold now for nearly 7-months, with the $13.5 million price tag barely getting a sniff from serious investors. I personally think it's because no one wants to live where Brit Brit and K-Fed lived like two bare foot heathen hillbilly's but sources that have seen the house tell Us Weekly they were blown away by how absolutely tacky the place was (duh!).

One person who toured the home but declined comment was Tennis Channel founder Steve Bellamy. Sources tell Us the L.A.-based television mogul who now runs The Ski Channel recently viewed the home but lost interest when he learned they had removed the tennis court to make room for a lavish poolside bar customized for K-Fed. Although the property’s listing agent declined comment to Us, a Malibu real estate source says the house, which underwent extensive renovations, is over-priced and over-customized to Spears’ and Federline’s quirky tastes. “There’s literally a bar everywhere you turn,” says the source. “It’s too over the top.”

I guarantee you it's not the fact that there is a bar "everywhere you turn" because everyone needs a bar within reach, no matter what part of the house you're in. I think "bar" is code for "tobacco stain," "vomit stain," and/or "cigarette vending machine."

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Poor Tom Sizemore was arrested when he turned up at court yesterday. The former star of Heat and Black Hawk Down was arrested on methamphetamine charges last month in Bakersfield, CA which violated his probation. He has since pleaded not guilty but was denied bail so Sizemore will have to sit in jail until his hearing on June 19th. If convicted he could face up to 16-months in prison.

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Rumors have spread across the interwebs that scary skinny 'Simple Life' star Nicole Richie is pregnant and so far neither her or boyfriend Joel Madden have denied it.

Richie recently underwent a series of tests, including blood and urine screenings, reports Life and Style, which reports that the tests “confirmed she is pregnant.” Richie’s rep didn’t respond to requests for comment from either L&S or The Scoop, but on May 30, the star was photographed at a reproductive clinic, and the mag quotes an “insider” as saying, “Nicole’s determined to get healthy for her own sake and the baby’s.” (source)

I think Nicole Richie weighs under 100lbs, possibly under 90lbs if some of the reports are accurate, so is it even possible for her to get pregnant? If she is pregnant, when she starts to "show" she is going to look like those poor malnourished children in Ethiopia with their distended belly's that Sally Struthers exploited.

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After only 2 days in the pen, it sounds like Paris Hilton has started to crack and is barely sleeping and eating. According to TMZ

Paris has been crying on the phone, saying she's not sleeping or eating. Paris says her cell is "freezing cold." She has three little blankets and no pillow. She's using one of the blankets as a pillow. The room is bright and jail noise echoes through her space.

WTF did Paris expect? 600 thread count sheets? Fluffy, allergy free pillows? Privacy? It's f*ing jail. It's supposed to suck. You're supposed to hate it. When you're released you're supposed to say "I never want to go back to that god forsaken place ever again!" This may sound heartless but I actually laughed out loud after reading that.

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