5:32 Is this intro the Academy's attempt at being edgy? Or funny? Is this MTV but less pop culture? 5:34 This is going on like a Saturday Night Live Skit. Seriously, kill me. 5:35 What do you think the net worth of the attendee's at the Kodak Theater is? 5:37 haven't laughed but my girlfriend just informed me that Billy Crystal used to host this thing back in the day. Thank god blogging and the internet was not around back then. 5:45 People b*tch about the Oscar's running long from what I hear so why have I just zoned out for the last 9 minutes because it sucked? 5:46 Hey, It's James Bond and that chick from BMX Bandits to present the Art Direction award. Pan's Labyrinth wins. If you haven't seen it, it is an amazingly beautiful (although violent) movie. 5:49 Maggie Gyllenhaal congrats some dude who already got his award because it was not important or cool enough to be presented tonight. 5:53 Is it just me or has Will Ferrell jumped the shark? 5:55 Yeah he has. Doing a duet with Jack Black. lame. you know what else is lame? doing a promotional song for his movie. by the way, get Talladega Nights on DVD now. 5:58 Longest lead in ever for a category no one cares about. So Achievement in makeup goes to Pans Labyrinth, muy bien! 6:01 Our future Britney Spears and Rob Lowe are presenting the short animated film award which goes to The Danish Poet. 6:03 Is Torill Kove a man? 6:04 I can't wait to see these kids cruise out of Hyde all underage and intoxicated in like 5 years. And the best live action short film award goes to The West Bank Story 6:07 alright a commercial, I don't think i have been so happy to utter those words. 6:08 How far has Andy Garcia fallen that his career now revolves around doing Cadillac commercials? 6:12 I went to the bathroom and come back to a choir of Michael Winslow's making noises. I don't know if I should be impressed or laugh hysterically. 6:22 Sorry for the disaperance but took the 10 minutes of nobodies to pound a few more beers. Stiff competition in the supporting actor category but the award goes to Alan F*ing Arkin!!! F*ck Yeah!!! Thank god it wasn't Eddie Murphy 6:31 I have seen cars about 17 times, never all the way through or from start to finish. Only bits and pieces as I have the most adorable little cousins that are obsessed with the movie. Every time I see them the movie is on in the background or we put in to shut them up but it had music? 6:36 I know Al Gore has a great cause here and it is important that we all take a look at the impact we have on this world (I carbon offset by the way) but all I can think about is the South Park episode about him, 'I'm Serial." 6:43 Holy Sh*t Jack Nicholson is bald! 6:44 Could Cameron Diaz be more smug as she announces that animated movie award? And what's with the animated characters in the crowd? Like kids are watching this? awful. Oh, Happy Feet won. lame. 6:47 The "writer" Ben Affleck is up there now. Where did they dig him up? I kid. I kid. I loved him (in a manly way) in Hollywoodland. 6:50 Something about Helen Mirren talking about Borat is really hot. Oh, Sacha is out but The Departed wins best adapted screenplay! 7:00 OOoooo, costumes...God the banter between the Devil Wears Prada Chicks is forced! Why do they have to do this? 7:03 Seriously Marie Antoinette? That movie was awful. Why not the Queen? Terrible. How many movies have been made about the French Revolution? How hard could it have been to copy that? 7:05 Boycotting till "it" is off the stage. Nothing against Sherry Lansing. 7:14 after several uncomfortable Ellen and Clint Eastwood moment Pan's Labyrinth wins another. 7:21 Naomi Watts and Robert Downey Jr. look amazing presenting the special effects award which goes to Pirates of The Caribbean (my g/f is f*ing stoked) 7:24 Is it just me or is there something very commanding about Ken Watanabe? 7:31 Germany may not have won the world cup but they pulled out the Best Foreign Film with The Lives of Others. 7:34 yawn. I am so bored. the beers are the only reason I am still doing this. Can you believe I am missing Extreme Makeover Home Edition? Are you f*ing kidding me? Jennifer Hudson wins Best Supporting Actress? Hey Beyonce, how pissed are you? Man I wish Beyonce's limo is bugged so we can hear her tirade. I was really rooting for Abigail Breslin though. 7:45 A Jerry Seinfeld sighting, and he's not wearing sneakers! 7:47 what's more depressing the documentary's or Jerry Seinfeld's comedy? 7:49 Al Gore Finally wins something. Good for the Inconvenient Truth. 7:53 It's about time Ennio Morricone is recognized. He should have 2-3 Oscar's for all of his work. Unbelievable that he and Cary Grant had to wait so long. I wake up everyday to "L'Estasi Dell'oro" (Ecstasy of Gold for you non-Italian speakers). 8:04 I don't know if it is the alcohol or the fact that Clint Eastwood is on stage with one of the greatest composers of all time but I have tears in my eyes. 8:12 Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst stroll out. From the g/f: "Thank god she's wearing a bra." I agree. 8:15 Yay! Little Miss Sunshine Wins for best original screenplay!!! 8:18 How many awards are left? Seriously? I am going to freak out if this goes any longer. 8:23 Beyonce singing the Dreamgirls song "I know you're the best!" No sh*t girl. She has kicked your ass all year. On a side note, what is keeping Jennifer Hudson's breasts in her dress? If ABC isn't careful we are going to get an eyeful (not that I'm complaining) 8:29 John Travolta and Queen Latifah are presenting Best Original Song. Can you believe these two could technically be beards for each other? Hey Melissa Etheridge looks fantastic after her battle with cancer. congrats to her for winning. 8:37 Please kill me. this is brutal but at least Will Smith's ears are getting bigger by the day. 8:42 Mmmmm......beer 8:49 It's amazing how so many people I have never met but still have impacted my life have died within the last year. From Jack Palance, to Bruno Kirby and Don Knotts, you will all be missed. 8:54 best Actress! Finally a big category. Come on Penelope! Wait, no, come on Helen! And the award goes to Helen Mirren! 9:05 Im fading fast but one of my favorite actors Forest Whitaker, just won Best Actor for The Last King of Scotland. 9:08 Best director is tense. I really want Marty to win but George Lucas' hair is creeping me out Update: Marty finally wins! 9:14 can you get a more insane pairing than Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton to present the best film? Oh my god, this is the last award! finally, Im free. come on little miss su.....damn't. The Departed Takes. f*ck. throwing off my bracket. Anyway, im done. cant take this anymore. hope you enjoyed it 'cause I know I didn't. Pointing out the craziness of Britney Spears and the circus that is Anna Nicole is so much easier. AMF Chris