Jake: Dad, why does everyone think I'm gay? Dad: Well, since you and snaggletooth Kirsten Dunst broke up, you have been pictured in spandex with Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong. Jake: But we're just friends who like to hang out and exercise together. Lance won the Tour de France like 6 times, he can teach me a lot and Matthew McConaughey, look at that guy, he's an Adonis. Dad: You just described another man as an 'Adonis.' That could be why. Call up Jessica Simpson, she's single and desperate for attention. She will make a man out of you. Jake: Thanks dad, you're the bestest. Pictures by Aaron St. Clair/Ambler