One massive post of the ladies that showed up at the Teen Choice Awards last night. Who do you think are the winners? The losers? Jessica Simpson and her extensions An unemployed Mischa Barton didn't wear Keds ooooo...awkward Kristin Cavallari and Jessica at the same event. Who knew Nelly Furtado had a booty? She's Portuguese not Brazilian. Don't know much about Sophia Bush except that Chad Michael Murray really made a mistake. I hope Adam Brody knows how lucky he is to have Rachel Bilson Carmen Electra pulls off the 33 going on 17 look Mary-Kate must have been busy dumpster diving since Ashley showed up alone. Rihanna should have used some of her island flavor to cover up that forehead. I thought Christina Milian was 16, turns out she is almost 25. That certainly changes things. Try and say something nice about Brooke Hogan because The Hulkster still looks like he can kick some ass. Jessica alba needs to talk to Jessica Simpson about some better hair extensions Brittany Murphy wore some lingerie These two should be put out to pasture, they are way too old to be there.

---

Vincent Margera, aka Don Vito, the mumbling blithering fat uncle to Bam Margera the professional skateboarder and member of the Jackass posse, was arrested in Colorado on suspicion of two counts of sexual assault on a child. Don Vito was at a signing event at a skate park where it is alleged he inappropriately fondled and/or groped 12 and 14-year-old girls. Why am I not surprised? The guy lives in a glorified trailer, can't string 3 words together to form a coherent sentence and is tormented and taunted by his nephew for our enjoyment. Sounds like prison might be a step up for him.

---

To make it up to you ladies for posting all those photos of Jessica Biel, I give you Hulk Hogan. It doesn't get much sexier than this. Keep in mind this guy is 53 years old!!! Best photos ever.

---

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes went out for a little dinner at Maestro's Steakhouse which is a rarity for the reclusive Cruise who only goes out when he has a movie to promote. Who got blessed with the honor of babysitting Suri? Do you think a neighborhood kid comes over for a few a $20's, raids the fridge and invites her boyfriend over for a little R-rated action on his couch (over the bra, not under)? Or did Tom drop her off at the Celebrity Centre for a little Scientology messiah training?

---

Permalink | Comments: 9

Keira Knightley looks like she is doing a little research for Mannequin 3 while shopping at Barney's New York in Beverly Hills. Her boyfriend, Rupert Friend, and her mother were along for what looks like the most boring shopping trip ever. Who knew that being rich and famous was such hard work?

---

The stars came out for Rumer Willis' 18th birthday. Father Bruce was there along with step-dad Ashton Kutcher, Lindsay Lohan and industry giants Courtney Love and her daughter Francis Bean, Michelle Trachtenburg, Danny Masterson, and Soleil Moon Frye. But what we all want to know is what's up with Demi Moore's nose? Did Lindsay Lohan bump into her on the dance floor?

---